The changes in the nature of Relationships

“I have never questioned my parents. Whatever they asked me to do was simply done. I have unquestioned respectfor my parents. But my son isn't like that. Whenever I ask him to do something, I have to answer his 'Why, What,How and Why not'. Children of this generation don't respect elders,” complains a middle-aged man.It isn't true. It's just that the framework of relationships has changed. In the yesteryears, emotions formed the basisof relationships. Today, the basis of relationships is information.A few years back, if the boss asked a team member to do a task, ‘Done’ would have been the spontaneous reply.Today, the team member asks the boss, “Why should it be done, what for, etc…” before doing it. This doesn'tmean that today's team members are disrespectful, but just that they need to be adequately informed. In that sense,unquestioned surrender is no more there in relationships. But I still believe that the quality of relationships hasn'tundergone any degradation whatsoever. It's just that today's intelligence says - either give me all the information tomake a decision, or give me all the information that has led to the decision that I have to abide by.You would've fetched water for your father at the slightest hint, but your son will ask you a few questions beforedoing the same for you - what's important is that he too brings water for you after he's been given adequateinformation. The parent-child relationship in that sense has not degraded; it's just the framework of therelationship that has changed. When Dad called Mom to tell her that three more people would be joining him forlunch, she would've simply said, “Okay.” If you happen to communicate the same to your wife, she would ask youwho's coming, at what time, what their preferences are, till what time they'll stay… but then, she too keeps lunchready. In that sense, the devotion in marriage hasn't degraded; it's just the framework of the relationship that haschanged... the basis of relationships has changed from emotions to information.As a teacher, I don't think the quality of surrender has changed even in the realm of spirituality. This is the changethat has happened - it has changed from unquestioned surrender to surrender after enough questions and answers.But then, was Arjuna any different?The quality of relationships hasn't stooped, but the demands on communication and information have gone up.Communication and exchange of information have become the lifeline for relationships. Explanations havebecome necessary, and clarifications mandatory. This change is neither for the betternor for the worse; it's just a new phenomenon. In a changing world, such changeshave to be anticipated. It's no more enough to say 'Do'. Explain enough and thensay 'Do', and it will be done.Trust is the basis of relationships, but trust is no more assumed. Information hasbecome the basis of trust, and hence the basis of relationships.
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